Waiting In The Hallway

It feels like I’ve spent half my adult life waiting in the hallway for opportunities and doors to open. It can get downright depressing. Others walk down the hallway and doors open left and right for them. They have so many choices.

What do they have that I don’t?

Why do they get all the opportunities, while I’m stuck waiting?

Can you relate?

I’m in my 50s now and this pattern continues. Life circumstances have sent me into the hallway not once, but five times so far. Part of this has to do with the fact I live with Cerebral Palsy and it gets harder as I get older. Chronic, severe, debilitating pain and fatigue are my constant companions.

Back to the hallway…

Given the growing uncertainties in our world, there are many people waiting in the hallway for doors to open. It’s getting a bit crowded. I know it’s the first time for many of you, and it can be overwhelming and scary. There are a lot of “what ifs” surfing on a tidal wave of confusion.

I’ve been there. Having your life’s dream shattered is devastating. It feels like everything is crumbling around you and you don’t know what the next step is, because there wasn’t supposed to be a next step. I get it. I was 21 when my life’s dream to become a nurse lay shattered into a million pieces at my feet.

Feelings, while legitimate, can be deceptive. You can do other things; become something else. Your life is not over, and you are not alone. That is the truth, but you need to grieve your losses first. I know it’s not the death of a family member or a friend, but the death of a dream is usually traumatic, triggering grief. Don’t rush the process, but don’t get caught in it either.

Faith is helpful…

I am a Christian and my faith in Jesus’ sovereignty over everything gives me something to hold on to and focus on. He is my anchor in the storm, my counsellor as I grieve, and the rock I stand on in the hallway. Be aware the hallway can have many twists and turns, and they are never the same twice.

There are five keys you need to navigate the hallway successfully. It’s taken me decades to master them all.

Keys to the hallway…

1. Stay alert – you never know when a door will open!
2. Be ready to jump – don’t hesitate when a door opens, or someone will jump ahead of you.
3. Be patient – if someone jumps through a door ahead of you, don’t sweat it. That wasn’t your door.
4. Be in the present moment – looking back at the past results in missed open doors. Depression puts a fog over your eyes so you can’t see when a door opens right in front of you.
5. Don’t give up – perseverance is forged in the fires of waiting, and it is a valuable life skill to have.

I had a door open last week. It blindsided me, but I jumped anyway. I’ve learned if you jump and it’s not meant to be, you find yourself back out in the hallway. There is nothing to lose by trying!

For the last two years, three months, and counting… I have been a writer, an author, and an editor. I have more projects on the go than I have time to work on them all. I wasn’t looking for another door, but there it was.

I was on Clubhouse, a social media platform that is all audio, and I stumbled into a room that had a title about intercession and a book collaboration. It was intriguing. I’ve been an intercessor for 35 years and counting. I pray for people, places and situations God assigns to me.

I entered that hallway with only minutes to spare. The host “invited me onto the stage” to speak as my cell phone battery died. I asked her if I could send her an email for more information. She gave me permission, and I exited the room quietly.

I sent the email that day, and before I knew it, I was signing a contract as a contributing author. I submitted the first draft of my chapter last weekend. Doorways like this are what I call God assignments. I obeyed the principles listed above and an amazing thing happened. This journey is new, and I do not know where it’s heading. That doesn’t matter because God does.

I don’t know where you are in the hallway right now, but don’t lose heart. Shift your mindset from the monotony of waiting to the excitement of adventure. Be open and aware… it’s almost time to jump!